Getting Simple Sucks Sometimes
In her recent post, Simplicity is Not Easy, sustainable, simplicity blogger Lynn Fang wrote, “All new lifestyle changes eventually become like second nature, at which point you might think it’s ‘easy’. But transition periods can be fraught with insecurities and hidden obstacles. For most, moving from model American consumerist party-goer to simple living expert doesn’t happen overnight – a great deal of learning and adapting happens both before taking the dive and after”
Is Lynn right? Is it possible that having a simple life is hard?
I thought I just had to throw all my stuff in a dumpster and then my life would be easy. Then, I remembered that I had a family, and a home and a life. Responsible change takes time.
I would add, that it can be even more difficult to transition to a simpler life if you have certain lifestyle circumstances that get in the way or slow things down.
Circumstances like:
- long work hours
- debt
- a spending spouse
- TV
- health issues
- you really like shoes
While your transition may be at a different pace than say a young 20 something with no responsibilities, it is possible and manageable and usually really enjoyable to achieve your goal of living a simpler life. Just like losing weight at 40 can be more challenging, simplicity takes longer when you have more clutter to clear. As you are working harder and taking longer, you might be thinking that getting simple sucks sometimes. You might be right.
My question is this…
So What?
So what if it is harder for you than someone else? It is even harder to be fat, tired, and screening calls for collection agencies. I know. I’ve been there. I’m never going back there.
The day you decide enough is enough, is the day you are a little less fat, a little less tired and a little less broke. Fast forward a few months or years and you are fit, fab and wondering why you never get any mail or phone calls. Time is going to pass anyway, so even if it takes longer, and feels more difficult, why not end up in a better place?
Even something as wonderful as having children might slow down your efforts. A reader asked me last week about how to take a day off with a preschooler. If you have young children, it will be more challenging to take a day off, or simplify in other ways. Challenging, but not impossible. Ask Joshua Becker or Leo Babauta.
I don’t have a preschooler anymore. I used to, but now she is in high school. That presents it’s own challenges (and delights), but I very clearly remember having less time and energy when she was very young. Part of the problem was my debt, work hours and health, but preschoolers definitely demand and deserve our full attention. That doesn’t mean you can’t make progress in your commitment to simplify.
To get simple you need…
- Patience
- Simple friends
- An understanding of the benefits
- Slow, deliberate movement towards your goal
- An small emergency fund (yes, even before you pay your debt)
- Gratitude
You don’t need
- Radical change
- Courage
- A backpack
- A blog
- Willpower
- To be an expert
- Lots of money
- To keep up with anyone
Like any change, when living a simpler life becomes more important to you than a bigger house, new car, or fancy watch, the decisions you make and actions you take will all support your desire to live differently.
Don’t forget to…
- Ask for help
- Involve your friends and family
- Engage in relaxing activities
- Hang out with like minded people
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself
- Take action
- Give back
I know what it’s like to face big obstacles. Don’t let your obstacles, no matter how big, become problems or complete road blocks. Keep moving forward, in your own way, at your own speed. With obstacles, you will have to get creative. Instead of walking a straight line, you might have to jump over, walk around or crawl under.
While getting simple may suck sometimes, it is usually pretty great. It might be seem easier to keep buying newer cars because you can afford the monthly payment, charging your groceries, and living paycheck to paycheck, but when you get a glimpse of a simpler life, it becomes worth the effort to change. It might not be easy. It might not be fast, but when it all comes together, it is a beautiful way to live.
For great simple living resources, check out my i love page.
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32 Responses to “Getting Simple Sucks Sometimes”
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Love this, Courtney! It’s so easy to beat ourselves up when we don’t change fast enough. But real and lasting change takes time. It can be hard to break old habits and make new ones but it feels awesome to accomplish something we set our minds too.
Thanks for the great reminders.
Faith, it’s all about desire and finding motivation to sustain long term change.
Hi Courtney,
You don’t need a backpack and a blog to lead a simpler life??? Oh, crap – I’ve been barking up the wrong tree!
No, truly: wonderful post. I’ve given a great deal of thought over the past 6 months to thoughtful pacing as my desire to simplify has grown and I’ve been experiencing the incredible benefits/side effects of doing so (eliminating debt, working less, decluttering, etc.). I do need to be gentle and patient with myself, especially when the preschooler would rather be out at the park than decluttering my desk…
take care,
Lisa
Lisa…if you do have a blog and a backpack you are still ok in my book!
This is an awesome post Courtney. Not all change can come overnight. Sometimes it is babysteps. And that is all we can do at the moment. But it is okay, because we are still moving, no matter how slowly, toward the destination.
Bernice
How to finally reach the finish line
Baby steps are the best!
This post really resonated with me. It is all worth the work and effort though. I am home with four sick kids today, and all that needs doing is taking care of them and reading my library book. The benefits to all the work I have done minimalising over the past 18 mos.
Christa, That’s great. Instead of worrying about missing work and rushing kids to the doctor for antibiotics, you have the time and space to help them feel better, and relax yourself. Love it!
Wait… I DON’T NEED A BLOG??!!!
Great points Courtney. Any lifestyle changes take time. They are typically not flash in the pan changes.
Patience and persistence with an eye on your goal will always prove to be the best path.
I have started down the road of de-cluttering my closet, house, etc. Starting to get my wife on board, little by little.
Justin, As your wife sees the positive changes in you, she will get on board all on her own. Those flash in the pan changes are never long lasting for me. Slow and steady!
Hi Courtney, thanks for the shout out! I love your list of needs, I agree that those are crucial elements to make the transition. I think my biggest issue was not having simple friends who supported my desire to change. I started a blog to find support online, and that has helped me tremendously.
Going at the right pace has been tricky for me to find, but I think I’m finally finding the sweet spot. Also, my confidence has caught up with me and I can finally stop feeling anxious or sorry for myself. Thanks for your tips!
Lynn, I am so happy you found the sweet spot. Anytime you need a “simple” friend, I’ll be here!
This was a great post. Sometimes our desired goals can seem so far away that it’s good to be reminded that each step in the right direction counts.
Thanks Jason. I know I need to be reminded. When I start a new workout plan and know that I won’t see results for weeks or months, I try to focus on how I feel or little indicators that I am moving in the right direction.
I actually wrote recently about the process of packing up all of my shoes. I more than love shoes. My love of shoes has defined me, in part, for a long time.
It was hard. But it was a good, worth it hard.
Awww Miss Britt, Good for you! I have a pair of strappy sandals that I am looking forward to bringing back into my collection this spring, so I know how you feel. With project 333, I only have three or four pair each season.
Sitting here, thinking about this, and I suddenly realize that all this “stuff” I own is not easy! Hasn’t this occurred to me before? Well, now that it has, I will do my best to go forward and do better.
Thanks for helping!
So true Kathleen. I never thought about “stuff” as easy or hard, but now that I have less of it, I can see how much energy it took to buy it, keep it, store it, clean it and get rid of it!
I have never been a messy person, I just wasn’t all that simplified. Despite having a MAXIMALIST girlfriend who appears (to my horror) to enjoy wallowing in clutter, the transition to voluntary simplicity was easy and highly enjoyable, for me.
I used to run a blog. I wrote about my hobbies; everything from programming to graphic design to minimalism and back again. But when I was without my laptop for 3 weeks and thus taking a forced digital sabbatical, I realised I preferred life without blogging. Why write about my hobbies when I could be engaging in them?
Gerhard, good for you! Sounds like you are really enjoying life.
Thank-you for such a well written article! What a great reminder that instant gratification is what got me into trouble in the first place. Too much stuff, too much debt, and now too much time working to pay for the excess of yesterday.
You have to wonder sometimes if this poor economy is part of a master plan to bring us back to a much simpler lifestyle and an appreciation for non-materialistic things. I’m thankful that I have another chance to learn what’s truly important in life.
Me too Pat!
I also think a person has to focus on why they want to simplify. I really love spinning (yarn) and have various tools related to my passion. I started to feel guilty until I realized that I want to simplify in order to do more spinning. It would not make sense to get rid of everything I require to do that. I can reduce the amount I wool/fibre I buy and just buy enough for the moment but not get rid of my wheel and spindles which I need to spin. Even Ghandi had a charkha wheel he spun on and he was pretty minimalist. No more guilt about something that brings me a lot of joy.
Agreed – goodbye guilt!
I’ve decided to unsubscribe to this blog and a few others like it. The minimalist lifestyle comes from a good place, with good intentions, but many of them are starting to sound so righteous, so “look what I did, do what i do and be better than everyone else”. I’m glad others are able to find a community here, but for me, it simply triggers guilt and a feeling that I am inadequate. I can live a simpler life without others telling me exactly how it should be done.
Carleen, Good luck with your journey. Sorry I couldn’t have been helpful.
Dont give up, do one thing today thats just for you even if it only takes 5 mins.
Once upon a time i thought i had my life all sorted but then life sorted me! After a year of heatache and grief i now know that the things around me maybe nice to have but the people in my life are without price. But i have come to understand that the most important person in my life is me – YES ME! If i am not able to withstand the pressures of life then how can i hope to strengthen another.
Courtney i think your blog is amazing. Others have come and gone and im sure others will too. Many of the things you blog about are gentle reminders to what i had started before life got in the way and i got lost. Please dont give up your blog
My vision continues to unfold – live simply, listen intently, be kind and non-judgemental, speak quietly, be true to myself, gain knowledge, eat well, meditate daily and take a walk every day.
Thank you for the inspiration. I needed this today. 2 weeks into the 333 project and missing my shoes. It was a relief to realize it won’t happen fast. I feel I need more simple friends and have noticed a few I already have just didn’t realize it. My husband is probally the most simple and I had never noticed or appreciated him until I decided to reduce. I guess he has always kept me balanced. We have been making plans and setting goals for a minimalist life. It does seem backwards to most people. They can’t imagine me living in my camper or guest house to reduce. We both love to garden and be outside so we will always want land just not too much house because the house keeps us from being outside.
This post hits the spot! This summer, I started focusing on simplifying my life and trying to downshift in general. I was doing REALLY well and then I got pregnant. A major “Woo HOO” moment soon spiraled into nausea and exhaustion and all of my progress went out the window. Any energy I had was focused on my 2 year old. More takeout was purchased, less mininmizing was happening.
Now I’m in my 2nd trimester and am trying to get refocused. Our goal is for me to be able to work part-time (or not work all together) by the time baby #2 arrives, which means I need to get our ducks back in a row!!!
Thank you for this post, because it really is hard to restart. Complacency is much easier, albeit miserable!